Tired, Hungry

I just ate a protein bar because I haven’t eaten anything all day except for a bottle of Gatorade and a few spoonfuls of chili. It’s probably good to eat before you exercise, right?

I only got like two hours of sleep lastnight.

It’s amazing the effect that certain information has on your ability to eat and sleep. Information like your husband left you for another woman…

Yep, that’s right folks. He didn’t just leave me. He left me for somebody else!

I have spoken to two attorneys today.
Huzzah for attorneys!

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Still looking out for me…

I filled out like a dozen online apps yesterday, and who do I get a call back from first thing this morning?

KMART

My Grandmother’s all-time-end-of-story-no-questions-asked FAVORITE store ever.

Go figure!

I applied for a position called Loss Prevention something-or-other, which I assume means I’ll be running around with a toolbelt and a walkie-talkie, looking official and tackling shoplifters…which is fine, considering it’s probably a FULL-TIME JOB AND A STEADY PAYCHECK AND AS LONG AS I HAVE THOSE TWO THINGS I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT MY JOB IS. (Wendy’s had an ad for shift manager. I hate fast food, but I would apply for that… )

My Grandma put in a good word for me at KMart, and I’m driving my Grandpa’s old truck.

So thank you, Grandma and Grandpa. You really came through for me. Too bad you’re dead. Too bad the only members of my family to come through for me are DEAD.

Two more weeks at the high school, still not getting a paycheck, and then I’m GONE.

G
O
N
E

GONE.

And good riddance! Pay your teachers, for God’s sake!

Good News

At first when I was considering the move to Iowa, I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to afford rent and a car payment, etc. My aunt and uncle own this house, they charge their current renters something like $450/month. I was going to keep one of the cars, on which the payment is $300.

So I’d be staring down the barrel of about $750/month just in rent and car payments! Not to mention electric, insurance, cable, internet, etc. Gah!!!

But no! Family strikes again. My aunt said that they would only charge ME $200/month (whoah), and because my stupid son of a bitch STBX keeps changing his mind, he now wants to put ALL of the vehicles into the bankruptcy so that HIS name isn’t on anything.

For Christ’s sake, man, when I married you, your FIRST WIFE’S NAME WAS STILL ON EVERYTHING. YOU JACKASS!

So my mom says that she will finance a car for me and I will make the payments on it. Whoah! She sure is redeeming herself.

The car I looked at has a payment of something like $150/month. Awesome.

I can handle $350/month for house/car!

At first we looked at a Dodge Magnum, because it is a wagon and nice and low for Sumo to jump into. But I started looking at some other models, like the Audi A3, which is also a wagon, and to be honest with you, I haven’t heard very much positive stuff about Dodge’s reliability ratings.

So I found a couple older models of Audi wagons, some very inexpensive with only 70K miles (which is acceptable), and emailed the listings for them to my mom.

Hopefully she is amenable to something like that! I have always liked Audi (even when my STBX’s ex-wife bought one). They are reliable cars, and they have good stability ratings, airbags, and have been all-around good cars. Yay for German Engineering.

New YouTube Account

For those of you who are interested, my new YouTube username is LunzieBakey. Feel free to subscribe, or just watch the videos, whatever. I have started to re-upload the videos from the old account to the new account, and hopefully they will all be finished by the end of the day.

Because this is MY account now, I may upload more than just dog videos. I have some cute ones of my cousin’s youngest, Molly. Enjoy! :)

Brain vs. Mouth

What I said vs. What I wanted to say…

I visited my parents today. They just got back from a nice 4-day trip. How wonderful for them.

———————-

Parental Unit: I put some more boxes in your car for you.

Me: Thank you.

What I wanted to say: Gee, why don’t you just BRING THEM TO MY HOUSE AND HELP ME PACK YOU SELFISH BASTARDS!

———————

Parental Unit: I need to get rid of these newspapers.

Me: I’ll take them.

Parental Unit: Do you still need more newspapers to pack with?

Me: Yes.

What I wanted to say: Yes, I do need more newspapers. A fact that you WOULD HAVE KNOWN IF YOU WERE HELPING ME PACK AT ALL YOU SELFISH BASTARDS!!!!

——————–

Parental Unit: We asked a friend of ours if you could stay with them for a little while, but they said no.

Me: They probably don’t want a giant dog in their house, same as you.

Parental Unit: But they already have a dog. I don’t know what the problem would be.

Me: Yeah…

What I wanted to say: Yeah, what IS the problem with my giant dog? Does he bite? NO. Does he piss all over the house? NO. Does he bark all day? NO. He is a GOOD DOG. SO WHAT’S THE DAMN PROBLEM, YOU SELFISH BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!

——————–

Good thing my mouth works slower than my brain, or they’d have kicked me out right then and there.

Can’t wait to move into my aunt’s house.

One of the things that I had considered was if my parents were willing to purchase a house and have me make the mortgage payments on it. But then I was like NO EFFING WAY!

Every time they have ever helped me with anything, it has always come with some sort of condition, or caveat. Well, we’ll help you with this, but only if you do this. Want to sell your Jeep? Sure, you can put it in our driveway with a For Sale sign on it, but only if you talk to your in-laws about how they are not making the insurance payments on their car (that we are still paying for).

Want to live in a house that we financed? Well sure, but only if you…

I can’t even imagine what conditions they would put on something like that…

Only if you…

go to church every Sunday

stay in school

get a full-time job

pay all your bills on time

vacuum your floors every day

wipe your ass after you go poo

Yeah, they give me moronic conditions like that sometimes.

So living in a house that my aunt and uncle own would be more attractive either way, because they would put no conditions on my living there. Why not? BECAUSE THEY WOULDN’T FEEL LIKE THEY HAD TO!!!!!! They would KNOW that I would pay the rent every month, and keep the house clean, and take care of things!! They wouldn’t have to make it a caveat of the lease!

Where have my parents gone?

It seems like all they’re good for now is empty boxes, newspapers, and the occasional mended pair of pants.

Sheesh.

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