Hopefully I’m at the Bottom

Because I am trying to be optimistic. Can it get worse?

I keep saying that September 30th will end the worst year of my life.

Yes, you read that right. The worst year of my life. First my Grandfather died, then my Grandmother died, my beautiful Pearl died, my cat Spice died (I have had Spice since she was a tiny kitten that we found underneath a barn), and my husband left me.

I plan on making October 1st the beginning of a new, better year.

How will I start this? Why with new shoes of course. New shoes for a new journey. New shoes, fresh feet. I could make all sorts of analogies to annoy you. A friend of mine and I went shoe-shopping yesterday and I bought new aerobics shoes, a new pair of walking-around tennis shoes, and a pedometer.

Now, assuming no more horrible things happen to me, this year will be MUCH better than last, right? Right?

Because when you’re at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

It is good to have things to look forward to. My aunt and uncle are taking me and my cousin out for our birthdays (mid-October). I will be thirty, and my cousin will be 16. She was born on my 14th birthday–I even remember where I was when my mom called and told me. She and I have always been close. My aunt and uncle also host Thanksgiving dinner at their house, so I have a place to go for that. Christmas at my parents’ house will be enjoyable, as always, albeit a bit more lonely this year. A friend of mine and I have made plans for New Year’s Eve. And starting in January, if all goes well, my husband will leave for his pre-deployment training, and then mobilization.

When I get home, I’m putting on my new shoes and starting on my journey two days early, with a new aerobics DVD.

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Benefits of Legal Separation

Or should I say Legal Separation for the Benefits.

My husband keeps saying things like “I want to make sure you’re taken care of.” So I reminded him that if he divorces me, I’ll be living in this stupid house for fifteen months, paying the bills and taking care of things, with no health insurance. I have a part-time teaching job, which means that I can’t get health insurance. I could go look for another job, but not until June 2009.

So I asked him if we could do a Legal Separation instead of a divorce, at least until he returns from Afghanistan. That way I will still be covered under his insurance, while I am staying in this house, paying his bills, etc. By the time he returns from his deployment, I should have everything taken care of, and we can finalize everything and go our separate ways.

I was going to stay out in the outbuilding on our property, but I am leaning more towards asking my husband to stay out there, since I am in the house more than he is, and it would be a good, dark place for him to sleep after his midnight shifts. And a good, dark place for him to be away from me.

Whoops! Was that last part out loud?

Yes, there will be

A new tattoo.

I Break the Law Maybe?

FYI, if you drop a box of light bulbs, they will break. They are not very well packaged.

I was at Wal-Mart today and I picked up two boxes of halogen bulbs. I strolled over to another area of the store and one of the boxes slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor. I picked it up, didn’t think much of it, and kept on strolling around the store. I was in the paint aisle and I shifted the boxes in my hand to get a better grip on them, and some bits of glass fell out of one of the boxes.

Oh no! One of the bulbs was broken!

I took the box to the service counter in the paint aisle and told the man that the bulb was broken and that there was some glass on the floor. He said “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

I said “I think I broke the bulb!”

He said “Don’t worry about it!”

Who am I to argue?

I got a fresh box of bulbs and made sure I did not drop them.

I was a bit disappointed in how easily the bulb broke when the box was dropped. I thought they were packaged so that kind of thing didn’t happen. Hmm.

Poor light bulbs. :)