Yeah. I watch a lot of movies.
What’s that? You want to hear about some of the movies I’ve watched recently? Well OK, I’ll tell you.
28 Weeks Later
As you probably already know, I’m a BIG horror fan. No, not those “torture porn” movies that people pass for “horror” nowadays (I’m looking at you, “Hostel,” “Touristas,” and “The Hills Have Eyes” remake…). I like real horror movies. Like “The Exorcist,” “Halloween,” and “The Ring” which I consider three of the scariest movies I have EVER seen.
So I really liked the first movie, “28 Days Later.” I own it, in fact. So I rented “28 Weeks Later” with great hopes. It was ok, as horror movies go. I liked it, but I am seeing a trend in these flicks…
Why don’t they just name the movies “When You’re Attacked, Don’t Trust the Military, ‘Cause They’ll Kill Yo Ass!!”
In the first movie, when our heroes/heroines finally find the “sanctuary” they are searching for (at a military compound), they are immediately brutalized and the women are threatened with rape. Our hero has to kill the soldiers in order to save the woman and the child.
In the second movie, a soldier ultimately becomes a sort of hero, but the whole second half of the movie is a couple kids running away from snipers and an AMERICAN military who is shooting at anything that moves!
I realize that it is fairly realistic to assume that in a situation like that, where there are zombies/infected chasing you around, that the military will kill a few innocents. But I refuse to just assume that the soldiers will turn all horrible because of the situation at hand!
Last Tango in Paris
I kept hearing all sorts of good things about this movie, like I heard about “9 1/2 Weeks.” Oh, these are such fantastic movies, groundbreaking, award-winning!
Bollux! I thought Last Tango was one of the WORST movies I have ever seen! A co-dependent French bimbo who enjoys being brutalized by an old, ugly American jerk (yes I think Marlon Brando is ugly–sue me). Same with 9.5 Weeks! Nobody enjoys being treated like a thing, and women who act like that shouldn’t be glorified in movie form.
“But Lunzie, it’s about REAL LIFE,” you say.
That’s a bunch of crap. If I watch a movie, I want to watch a movie that’s uplifting, that causes me to feel GOOD. That’s why bazillions of people went to the movies during the depression. It’s called ESCAPISM. It’s good for you!
Stupid French language. Had to read the damn subtitles the whole movie. Bah.
Witchboard
I recently watched a movie called “Witchboard.” It’s a Korean movie about schoolgirls in a village who awaken–guess what? AN ANGRY FEMALE GHOST! With long black hair. Who kills everybody…
What is it with eastern movies and angry females? As a culture, from what I’ve seen, they oppress their females, treat them like objects, so I guess it’s logical that their worst fear would be one of those females coming back to scare them to death. Sweeet.
Anyways, the Witchboard movie was pretty dang scary. In the same vein as “The Ring” and “The Grudge” which I believe are remakes of Japanese movies. I like the genre–the girl who walks up to you with long black hair covering her face and scares you to death with her oh-so-creepy eye! As I mentioned before, I’m not up for the “torture porn.” Killing is ok (see “Night of the Living Dead”), but when it’s torture for the sake of torture, screaming, gore, etc., then I’m not interested. I also don’t like rape. I watched “Last House on the Left” a few years ago, and I thought I was going to throw up… That’s why I won’t watch the remake of “The Hills Have Eyes.”
I thought the original Hills Have Eyes was brilliant. The new one just sounds like a masochist’s wet dream.
Stay tuned for my review of the Ashley Judd, Harry Connick, Jr. straight-to-DVD film, “BUG.” Supposed to be very creepy. I’m excited!!
