So I turned thirty on Sunday.
I feel so old. THIRTY. I’ve crossed over into OLD PEOPLE TERRITORY.
Not really. I’m just painfully aware of the fact that I am growing older.
I didn’t feel like spending my birthday weekend at home with an apathetic husband, so I took a day off and went to my aunt and uncle’s house. They live in Iowa, where I’m originally from. I love it there. I love Iowa. I’m not really sure why, other than I love the slow pace, I love the farms, I love the simplicity. I’m not a city girl at all. I like the country.
So after grad school on Saturday, I went to dinner with a friend, did some shopping, and then made the 4-5 hour drive to Cascade, Iowa. I arrived there at about 11:00 p.m., and my aunt was waiting for me. My cousin Jennifer had brought her kids over so that she and her husband could do some “spouse-y” stuff (gee, I wouldn’t know what that is any more), and they were snoozing on the living room floor. I usually sleep on the couch, so I put on my PJs and settled in. My aunt and I talked for about two hours.
She revealed to me that she isn’t worried about me, even though I’m going through a horrible situation. I found that to be oddly refreshing, considering my own mother had expressed a fear that she would stop by sometime to find me curled up in a corner, rocking back and forth, humming to myself.
Thanks a lot, mom.
Anyways, I didn’t get much sleep, because the kiddos woke up early, and of course that meant that I had to be up early. It was good to see my family. They are a good source of support in my life.
The first thing my cousin Faith said to me was “HAPPY BIRTHDAY,” and of course I had to return the favor, since she and I share the day. We waited for Jennifer and her husband to arrive, and headed out to a Japanese steakhouse in Dubuque. It was really fun! They had birthday hats for Faith and I, and the food was excellent. I had the shrimp and ribeye, but they also served white rice, vegetables, mushroom and seaweed soup, and a wonderful dessert of fried bananas with melted honey and butter drizzled all over them. We ordered sushi (which I decided I DO NOT like), and we all enjoyed ourselves. They also gave Faith and I some grilled pineapple with ice cream. YUM.
Afterwards, we stopped at the mall, and then headed home.
On Monday, I had an appointment scheduled at a salon in town. I requested an eyebrow shaping, and a bikini wax. Bikini wax? Whyever would you want one of those? I can hear you thinking it now.
I’ve always wanted one. I was terrified, though, and I informed the woman who was to wax me. She was very gentle, and it really was a very painless experience.
Any of you who have a tattoo – getting the tattoo is like 100x more painful than a bikini wax.
Am considering other forms of vanity. Whole leg wax. Brazilian. Arm wax. Underarm wax… So many choices!! So many possibilities. Just like my life now.
My aunt and uncle own several properties in Cascade, and they told me that if I was interested, I was more than welcome to move into one of their rental properties when the divorce is final. I verified with my grad school that I could finish the rest of the licensure program online, and they were pretty confident. The only problem is finding me a student teaching assignment on such short notice.
Fortunately for me, my aunt’s co-worker is married to one of the bigwigs in the local school system.
So here’s what I figure…
If I can be divorced by the end of the year, I can start the online portion of my coursework in January, and hopefully will have a student teaching assignment by then. If that is all together by then, I can get out of here and move to Iowa. My aunt wasn’t sure they’d have a place for me by January, but there are all sorts of rental properties there, so it wouldn’t be a problem to put me somewhere temporarily until their house is available.
Out by JANUARY. A happy, happy thought. Blissful, even.
Yes, I know I keep changing my mind, saying I’m going to leave, saying I’m going to stay while my husband is overseas…but really…I need to leave. Whether or not I feel like I can handle it is beside the point. I think it is unhealthy for me to be here.
And to be honest, I don’t think my soon-to-be-ex-husband gives a shit what I do any more.